- I have five children ranging in age from teenagers to elementary school students.
- My husband is a public school teacher, and I am a freelancer.
- Little did I know that my children would become more expensive as they grew.
The unfortunate truth about my life as a mother of five children, from teenage to elementary school age, is that I have lived beyond my means for far too long.
My husband is a public school teacher in a rural area, and I am a freelancer, so our income is modest. But with five kids – and two teenagers – I just don’t know how to make it all work.
I knew having children would be expensive, but I didn’t expect or plan for how much more expensive children would become as they got older.
Our cost of living has gone up
Between groceries, electric and heating bills, car insurance, health insurance, homeowners and property insurance, car bills, life insurance, dental insurance, and unexpected expenses, we’ve seen our living costs rise. explode over the past three years. Our bills have literally tripled in some cases, but our income has not increased.
To give you a little glimpse into my finances, this month alone, the following bills have all come in:
- Travel Sports: $1,000
- Six-month car insurance policy for two adults and a teenage driver: $2,800
- Homeowners Insurance: $4,000
- Winter Property Taxes: $2200
- Brackets: $4,000
- New winter tires: $2000
I guess I should have expected how expensive life as a parent would be, but I can honestly say I didn’t expect how much more expensive my children would be as they grew up.
Teenagers are so expensive
Teenagers come with a whole new onslaught of expenses that I didn’t prepare myself for – everything costs more with teenagers. Besides the “big” expenses like more expensive car insurance, college tech, and gas, the little things cost more, too. For example, while I used to be able to run to the store and buy my kids $5 shirts for the school year, it now costs a lot more than that to dress them up. Everything, including socks, shoes, toiletries, sports and school expenses continues to add up with no end in sight.
Outside of the controversial extravaganza of a travel sport, my husband and I do everything possible to make our lives work. I shop at Aldi for our groceries, our kids wear thrift and Walmart, I thrift whenever possible, we rarely go out to eat, my kids have jobs and my husband works two other jobs outside of work his full time as a school teacher. My job pays for our limited streaming services and phones, and our entertainment is mostly spent at home (or watching siblings play games, of course.)
I wonder if I shouldn’t have stayed home when they were little
The frustration of feeling like our spending is out of control has led me to reflect on the choices I’ve made as a mother. I have always been proud to be mostly at home with my children. After suddenly becoming a mother during my senior year of college, I did my best to do what I thought “good” mothers should do and worked extremely hard to always be home as much as possible with my children. mi – I worked the night shift and built a freelance career so I could be the constant parental presence at home. And I was proud of it.
But now that I have two teenagers and am about to open a third, I’m wondering if I did the right thing after all. Should I have spent more time working then and saving money for this time in my life when my children still need me in very tangible and albeit more expensive ways? Have I really considered the compensation of my earning potential and how much we might need that money in these teenage stages?
My experience so far is that the teenage years are just as intense as the early baby and toddler years. They don’t have the same level of physical fatigue and sleep deprivation, of course, but they are extremely tough mentally and emotionally. Add the stress of trying to pay for everything and working more because you think the kids are “more independent,” and it can be a recipe for disaster. I feel so weak right now trying to cope with our lives when the truth is that my teenagers need me to be emotionally and physically present more than ever.
