- Growing up in the US, I wasn’t interested in becoming a mother.
- Then, I moved to the Netherlands for work and found out I was pregnant.
- Now I know why the Netherlands is ranked among the best countries for raising children.
Before I became a parent, I thought I had a clear idea of what motherhood should be—and I didn’t want it.
I saw mothers lose time, ambition, and sense of self, becoming someone who existed primarily as “mom.”
That vision left me hesitant to embrace parenthood. Instead, I spent years building my financial education and podcast business, finding fulfillment in my entrepreneurial pursuits.
Everything changed in 2023 when I moved to the Netherlands for career opportunities and discovered I was pregnant.
The Netherlands ranks among the best places to raise children and – as a new mother – I can attest to this first hand.
From the moment I was born, I began to experience a completely different approach to parenting than I had known in the US. It didn’t reduce me to a single role.
At first, giving my daughter so much independence was strange
In the Netherlands, independence practically starts in the east.
One of my first encounters with this philosophy came through the kraamzorg – a government-provided maternity nurse who supported us the first week after my daughter was born.
She introduced me to the Dutch parenting mantra: “Let them be, observe, provide support, then let them be again.”
This lifestyle challenged everything I thought I knew about motherhood. Growing up in the US, I was always on my mother’s side.
Trips to school and constant supervision were the norm and my family insisted that I always monitor my child.
Conversely, Dutch parenting encouraged me to let my daughter explore and learn on her own.
At first, it felt strange and counterintuitive to leave the room or focus on work while she played nearby.
I constantly questioned whether I was doing the right thing, but seeing how other families practiced and modeled independence gave me the confidence to stick with it.
At just five months old, my daughter was already engaging in solo play, exploring food at her own pace and settling down. As a result, she can easily adapt to new environments and has developed a calm and curious nature.
Seeing those results made it easier for me to break away from the overprotective mindset I grew up with.
I am able to support my daughter and my career without sacrificing either
Holland’s parental approach gave me a freedom I didn’t expect. I was able to return to my business just two months after giving birth, a relief that brought a sense of normalcy and balance to my life sooner than I had anticipated.
Being able to nurture my career while showing up for my daughter felt wild compared to what I saw growing up, but it was completely normal here. All the other moms in my neighborhood were doing it.
It’s not just mothers. The community here actively supports these norms. Many cafes, for example, have dedicated children’s corners, so when I go out for coffee with friends, I can be fully present in the conversation while my daughter plays nearby.
Additionally, libraries host programs that encourage children’s autonomy and provide spaces for mothers to connect and learn from each other.
Watching 4- and 5-year-olds confidently ride their wheelless bikes to school with little supervision—and watching them navigate completely independently by age 7—showed me what independence is deeply rooted here.
It’s refreshing and a relief to feel supported by a community that celebrates independence, allowing parents and children to thrive.
