- I was hesitant to invite my in-laws on a family vacation, but I don’t regret it.
- My kids see an adventurous can-do attitude modeled by their grandparents.
- Traveling together has many benefits, including shared memories and integrated childcare.
A few years ago, my husband and I invited his parents to take an eight-day trip to Montana and Wyoming with us and our two children. I was worried that eight days might be too long to spend together in isolation space, especially with a 4 and 9 year old.
We went for it anyway.
My in-laws had the opportunity to spend a lot of time with their grandchildren. The trip had only minor hiccups – whining and resentment from the kids – but it went so well that we’ve invited my in-laws on every family vacation since.
This year marked our 10th trip with the abuelitos (grandparents). Here’s what we learned.
Spending time together strengthens our bond
Driving five to 10 hours in an SUV has promoted heart-to-heart conversations with my mother-in-law about her family and childhood that I’m not sure we would have heard otherwise. Thanks to these long, uninterrupted hours, we know she grew up in a one-bedroom house in Mesa, Arizona, with five of her nine siblings, a backyard garden, and chickens they raised for eaten.
These trips have revealed another side of my father-in-law. He is quiet by nature, but my husband and I discovered that he enjoys meeting new people. In a Jacuzzi in Jackson Hole, we heard him joking and engaging in conversation with other retirees. Outside of Mexico City, he befriended a man who grew up in the same region of Mexico as he did. The two shared stories of a Quinta (huge estate) that housed exotic animals and the best watering holes in the area.
Traveling together has created a deeper understanding of each other and our roots. And while it’s fun to reflect on the past, these journeys also offer opportunities to create new narratives.
Our children build memories with their grandparents
“Don’t forget that time we…” starts many of our conversations. It’s one of the best parts of vacationing together.
I’m glad we invited my in-laws on trips when the kids were young, even if there were complaints and tantrums. If we had waited for our children to be a more “ideal” age, my in-laws would have been older and some of those trips to faraway places might not have happened if we had waited.
Sometimes my kids pull out our travel albums and show photos with their grandparents in front of a geyser or historic site. These memories are priceless.
My husband and I enjoy introducing his parents to places and activities outside of their comfort zone.
My husband and I have encouraged my in-laws to hike or cave crawl with us. We’ve pushed their limits so often that my mother-in-law admits that they start a hiking regimen months before our trips to prepare for whatever craziness I plan.
I love that they can count on us for an adventure, and I’m always impressed by their willing attitude.
My father-in-law’s favorite part of our trip to Yellowstone was the 1.5 mile out-and-back hike to Grand Prismatic Spring. With a gradual climb of 105 feet, he jumped and blew that trail and almost gave up until a couple bigger than him passed him on the trail, yelling, “You got this!”
He said their words strengthened him and the Prismatic Spring look was worth the effort. Similarly, at the Teotihuacan Pyramids outside Mexico City, my mother-in-law found the steep and narrow climb nearly impossible. But she said the experience of standing on the ancient stones and overlooking the square was unforgettable.
Unconsciously but powerfully, my children’s abuelitos are modeling a “can-do attitude” in them, and that it’s never too late to try new things and embrace adventure.
In addition to the intrinsic benefits of traveling together, there are also practical benefits.
Group travel is more economical
We are always looking for Airbnbs or hotels that accommodate a party of seven. We rent vans or SUVs, allowing us to split the cost of a rental vehicle, making one of the most expensive items in the travel budget more economical.
Admittedly, this works more in our favor than theirs, but I appreciate it when they also offer to share a meal with us or add one of the kid’s meals to their tab. Meals out are expensive and their willingness to share some of that cost means our family can better afford the trip.
Another practical aspect of traveling that benefits us is the free childcare that my husband and I receive.
Grandparents can be the best built-in caregivers
Traveling with three children has its challenges.
On our last trip, my husband and I were so exhausted from two long days of adventure that we needed a reset.
“We’ll pick up the kids this morning,” my mother-in-law volunteered. “Go, have fun, don’t come back for five hours!”
Finally, my husband and I could relax and reconnect.
Family dynamics can change – for some, traveling together can be unwise. But if you have extended family ready to adventure with you and you with them, invite them along. These trips can reward you with a bunch of stories and photo albums, while also deepening precious bonds with each other.
