- I moved to Los Angeles 16 years ago, and then I met my husband and had two daughters.
- While our home was not affected by the fire, our life was.
- Many of my friends lost their homes and I wonder if I should move for my children.
“Are you okay?” is the text I’ve received every day for the past week. And the answer is complicated. Yes, I’m fine in the sense that while I live in Los Angelesmy family and home are safe from fires.
But also, I’m absolutely not well.
I moved to Los Angeles 16 years ago as an aspiring writer. I was living in West Hollywood, where I met my husband. Eventually, we moved to the sleepy suburbs of Burbank, where we raised our two daughters.
Moving to the suburbsfor me, it meant a sense of security for our family. The roads here are wide, the trees are ancient and large, and the schools are top notch. We are surrounded by other families and local businesses that we love. I recently texted a friend, “This feels like our forever home.”
The Palisades and Eaton fires, however, have changed not only LA itself, but the way I see our future in this city.
Last week, me and my husband we packed a suitcase with clothes, birth certificates and our marriage license as strong winds toppled those mighty trees in our path. We buckled our girls into their car seats as the ash fell from the sky. We left LA under huge plumes of smoke to find better air quality. And days later, when the Palisades fire moved to the East, we could see the flames burning in the distance, right behind our house.
The author worries about the safety of her children. Courtesy of the author
Like everyone else, me too I don’t know when the LA fires will be contained. What I do know is that many of my friends have lost all possessions and sense of security. What I do know is that while we are safe, my girls can’t go outside because of the air quality. What I do know is that I’m not the only parent in LA right now trying to process the heartache of it all and keep life as usual for my kids.
I also know I don’t want to do this anymore
I don’t want to live every year wondering if fires will start closer to our house. What if the house we worked so hard for goes up in flames? Or worse, what if we can’t get out in time?
Los Angeles is where I started my career as a novelist. My first two books are set in Hollywood. My husband was lucky enough to be a TV writer for the showings of that movie here in Los Angeles. Our community and work is here.
My husband has laughed nervously at my questions: “Should we stay in LA?” and “No, really, are we staying?”
But to ease my anxiety, I’ve started looking at listings in North Carolina—not because I’m from there, but because my best friend lives there. Maybe this could be fun?
The author has considered moving her family to North Carolina. Courtesy of the author
But then the practical part begins. How would we be able to make a living? There are no TV writers’ rooms, and I would have to hope I could find a full-time job that could make enough money for all of us. The idea of moving our family somewhere else is currently very tempting, but financially perhaps impossible.
And on top of that, I can’t imagine another place in the world where I would want to live. I love Los Angeles. My kids love that we can drive to the beach and swim in our backyard pool in the summer. This is our home.
As I made my daughter’s bed this morning, I silently said a prayer of thanks for the life we have. I imagine every day will be something like this – both the gratitude that we were spared and the small knowledge that we were so close to losing everything. But next time – if and when there is one – will my family be as lucky as we are?
