- My daughter told me she was dropping out of high school at 16.
- I didn’t argue and gave him the space to take a bold step into early adulthood.
- “My high school is full of drugs and drinking. I don’t want to get in trouble,” she told me.
A week before her freshman year of high school, my 16-year-old daughter walked into the kitchen with a smile of pure delight. “I emailed my principal,” she reported. “I said it gave me great pleasure to inform her that I would no longer attend her school.”
I tried to maintain a neutral expression like the one I had struck when—for show and tell in a high school science class—she had brought a leech from her tank in the corner of our living room where she kept three of them. . along with some frog crap and a lobster.
“So what are you going to do for high school this year?” I asked. She had become increasingly miserable in high school, confused by the constant social drama and classes full of busywork.
She immediately replied, “I’m going to community college to study marine biology.”
“Good plan,” I said, but my brain was spinning with questions.
My daughter didn’t want to get in trouble at school
My daughter has brought similar revelations to me throughout her life.
As someone with ADD, she has struggled with traditional classrooms since kindergarten, finding it difficult to focus in a room full of peers unless she is fully engaged with a topic.
During her 12-year education, she tried public schools, charter schools, home schooling, and private schools. I learned to be flexible and curious instead of rigid and angry. However, dropping out of high school was a new development.
Over my shoulder at the kitchen table, she said in her defense. “My high school is full of drugs and drinking. I don’t want to get in trouble.”
I was worried about a different kind of trouble.
“Is this really legal?” I kept asking her counselor at College Now – as if an undercover officer could pick up my teenager on the way to her beloved marine biology class and take her back to high school.
“It’s legal,” said the adviser, who I had on speed dial. She just needs to enroll in the appropriate transfer courses and take her GED exam, the equivalent of a high school diploma, the counselor said.
I began my research and discovered that my daughter’s decision might be the best.
“Community college can be a great way to explore interests inexpensively before committing to a major.“, I read in the book The Complete Guide to Transferring College: Find Your Ideal School, Maximize Your Credits, and Earn Your Degree.
The book tells students of all ages to consider working toward an associate degree while enrolled in community college. “Not only is it a valuable credential on a resume, but it can also provide transfer benefits with partner universities.”
So my daughter and I worked with her counselor to come up with a two-year plan to earn her Associate’s degree at the community college and get her GED.
However, as a young college student, my teenager was a little out of her element. First, I helped her find her classes, taught her how to email her professors, and broke down her syllabi with her to figure out homework and which textbooks to order. All this was only possible thanks to my flexible work schedule.
Dropping out of high school was the right move
I admit a little sadness. I loved my high school and I’m sorry my daughter didn’t have the same positive experience.
However, different brains desire different paths to education.
Despite my fears, I gave my daughter the space to take a bold step into early adulthood.
She passed her GED exams and is transferring to the University of Oregon next year as a junior.
These days, she wakes up at 9 a.m. and heads to classes that she finds meaningful and important.
She hangs out with her classmates at lunch, comes home at noon to study, and then goes to the dance studio.
Only 18 years old and in her second year of college, she has become an independent and joyful young woman.
