The holidays can be especially stressful for those who are neurodivergent.
As someone who deals with severe anxiety and depression, the holidays have historically been difficult for me. There are a bunch of reasons for this, but suffice it to say, I’m glad the holiday season is in the rearview mirror—the requisite family gatherings make me feel uncomfortable, despite being surrounded by people I know and love. Combine that with mental health and an extremely strong tendency towards introversion.
Turns out, I’m not alone. In October, the folks at Understood.org published the results of a study on neurodivergent people managing the chaos of the holidays. The study, conducted in collaboration with The Harris Poll, surveyed 2,035 neurodivergent adults. 1,228 of whom have an ADHD diagnosis, 1,292 have learning and thinking differences, and 710 are parents of children under 18. At a high level, Understood said the survey helped reveal the holidays “present unique challenges” for neurodivergent adults, adding that the lesson learned is “the need for support during one of the most stressful times of the year.”
In an interview with me last month, Dr. Andrew Kahn of Understood, who works as the organization’s associate director of behavior change and expertise, explained that while the holidays can be “the most wonderful time of the year” for many people, the reality is the holidays can be “more stressful.” for those who are neurodivergent and their families. In an allusion to my personal experience, Dr. Kahn said the social conventions around the holidays — social gatherings and the like — can be “difficult to navigate” for many people. The holiday study, he told me, was conceived as a channel through which Understood could “better understand what support and guidance the 70 million Americans who learn and think differently could benefit from this holiday season.”
“At Understood, we know that neurodivergent individuals, such as those with ADHD and dyslexia, find the holidays extremely stressful,” said Dr. Kahn on organizational sensitivity. “Families and friends are often unaware of how stressful it can be, and the stigma associated with neurodiversity can often be a huge barrier to holiday happiness.”
Dr. Kahn reiterated the notion that holidays can be problematic for those in the neurodivergent community, telling me that seemingly happy times can actually present “unexpected stressors” like schedule changes and, to my aforementioned point about family gatherings , increased social demands and sensory impact. However well-intentioned they are, Dr. Kahn said the hosts and extended family may not be aware of their neurodivergent love; this lack of understanding can potentially lead to “awkwardness and hurt feelings” when, for example, a person may seek to leave early due to feeling overwhelmed. Moreover, Dr. Kahn mentioned that even neurotypical people struggle intermittently with their daily routine, which can push them out of their comfort zone. For neurodivergent people, he told me, many have problems with executive function – which includes the ability to plan, organize and carry out multi-step tasks. This, in turn, “[creates] a nightmare scenario” when trying to accomplish things like planning a holiday meal and buying gifts. It can become overwhelming.
According to Dr. Kahn, the Understood survey found that 56% of adults with ADHD reported problems organizing and completing holiday-related tasks in a timely manner, while 52% said they had difficulty buying gifts on time. He went on to say that “half of adults with learning and thinking differences say their neurodivergence affects their holiday season financially and budgeting,” while the other half struggle with attending the myriad social events that occur during the season. .
When asked how neurodivergent people can better cope with the holidays, Dr. Kahn told me that technological tools can play an important role in building success. He noted that having a family calendar, routinely updated with new information, can be “extremely helpful” in helping a person remember when and where they need to be. Likewise, reminder notices—days ahead and today—are helpful in helping one “see what’s on deck and remember what other plans might be coming up.” Elsewhere, Dr. Kahn recommended shared shopping lists (with deadlines) to keep track of gift giving, as well as using financial apps to help keep an eye on one’s budget. Noise-cancelling headphones like Apple’s AirPods, he added, can be useful aids in “limiting sensory impact” on vacation trips and overstimulating environments.
The views of Dr. Kahn are important, as many of these strategies can be applied at other times of the year. For the winter holidays in particular, however, Understood has put together a guide to help neurodivergent people “navigate the ups and downs of the season.”
“The holidays can be such a wonderful and fun time for so many people, but for neurodivergent individuals, the fun and excitement can often come at a high cost,” said Dr. Kahn. “Sharing key information with supportive friends and family about neurodivergence in advance can often pave the way for a better vacation experience for everyone Understood.org offers thousands of expert-vetted resources to help neurodivergent people and their caregivers learn to better understand differences and flourish, consider sharing the gift of compassion by helping to overcome stigma and create events and celebrations that are enjoyable for all.
My conversation with Dr. Kahn came not long after I interviewed Understood’s chief technology officer Rahul Rao about, among other things, the impact of artificial intelligence as an assistive technology.
