- Shayla Smith is the COO of a Hollywood law firm where corporate shorthand is the norm.
- She realized she needed to take a more nuanced approach to communication at home.
- Her retail experience helped her perfect her communication techniques, she says.
This essay as stated is based on a conversation with Shayla SmithChief Operating Officer of Lichter Grossman Nichols Feldman Rogal Shikora & Clark, Inc. It has been edited for length and clarity.
I have always had a strong but fair communication style. It doesn’t tone it down: I am who I am because everyone else is taken. This has served me well professionally. As I began my retail career at Target, I quickly moved into C-suite operational roles, first in wealth management and later in law firms.
I am goal oriented at work. Whether I’m recruiting new talent, helping a client have the best possible experience, or working with one of the many managing partners at my firm, I operate with confidence and command. This has helped me go far in my career.
And yet, recently, I realized that it was keeping me at home. It took a comment from my husband to help me realize that I needed to make a clear separation between the role of a leader in the workplace and a leader at home. I was used to giving directives all day at work, so I found it natural to adopt the same approach at home. Unfortunately, this often rubbed my husband and sons, who are 9 and 7, the wrong way.
Now, I focus on delivery, not just content
Professionally, I am focused on the result. I can be blunt and say something once and expect the team to act on it. After my husband pointed out that I was using corporate chat and distribution with him, I adjusted my communication at home. I began to consider not only what I wanted to convey, but also how I wanted to convey it.
I stay true to myself, but I tone it down
I will always have a strong communication style. Fortunately, my husband is super calm and level-headed. I’m starting to think about toning down my sharp communication. I imagine it like a light switch: at work, I can leave my lamp shining at full power, but at home, on relaxed evenings, sometimes it’s good to hit the light switch and turn the intensity down a bit.
I am intentional with my words
My husband is a first responder with a busy overnight schedule, while I have an equally busy schedule in the corporate world. Sometimes, our communication needs to be blunt and to the point because we are so busy.
Even in those moments I am careful with the words I use. Saying “I’d like it if…” or “It would be nice if…” helps my husband know that I’m coming from a place of caring and understanding, even when I’m being direct. In turn, it helps him better understand what I have to say, so we both win.
We create a relaxing environment at home
Since we both have such demanding jobs, we intentionally create a calm and relaxing environment at home that is distinctly different from the chaos of the world outside. Physically, we create a very different environment, working together to choose soothing colors and wall decorations. We can talk about work in the car, but we try not to discuss it at home because we want to protect our space.
There are some corporate communication lessons I want guys to know
While I have changed my communication style with my family, there are aspects of corporate communication that I want my sons to know. I always remind them to speak loud and clear, looking the person they are talking to in the eye and speaking with conviction. They know I will only say things once and expect them to pay attention.
Ultimately, I hope they understand that people may not remember what you said, but they will remember how you made them feel. I learned working Black Friday at Target when I was dealing with angry guests, overworked workers, and lots of little crises. Although a Hollywood law firm may look different from it, excellent customer service and communication are critical across the board – whether with family, colleagues or clients.
