Don’t pursue endless solutions – focus on evolving into the best version of the same old you that you have … [+]
The new year feels like a chance to catch up—a time to revisit all the goals we didn’t quite achieve last year and make a bucket list for new ones. With everyone around us echoing the “new year, new me” mantra, we subconsciously wait for something magical to shift within us the moment the clock strikes twelve.
Our motivation is usually at an all-time high, believing this THIS it’s the year – the year where the change we’ve been hoping for will finally happen.
Chances are you’ve also made a new set of resolutions this year, but lasting change doesn’t happen overnight. You may have felt that rush of motivation, but when results didn’t come as quickly as expected or life got in the way, that initial excitement may have started to evaporate.
You might even consider abandoning your resolutions just a few months out of the year. This is the cycle of “solution fatigue”—a feeling of exhaustion from trying to accomplish overly ambitious goals that can result in burnout or giving up.
However, this doesn’t mean you’ve failed – it just highlights the challenges of sustainable change and creating solutions the right way without overwhelming yourself with an unrealistic checklist.
Here are two ways the new year can leave us with resolution fatigue and how to deal with it.
1. Breaking the all-or-nothing mindset for lasting change
When we set new year’s resolutions, they are often fueled by a desire to see change and a hope for quick results. There’s a cultural narrative that suggests January is the perfect time to bring changes to our lives completely — whether it’s losing those inches, getting more organized, or finally starting that side hustle.
This can lead to setting goals that require a level of effort and persistence that doesn’t take into account the complexities of real life. One of the biggest traps we fall into is expecting dramatic changes – this is when the “all or nothing” mentality kicks in.
We assume that we will suddenly eat balanced meals every day or stick to a new strict routine without fail. This can be overwhelming and leaves no room for setbacks, which are a natural part of making any big change.
For example, missing a workout can feel like a failure, leading to thoughts like, “If I can’t stick to it perfectly, what’s the point?” This creates a cycle of guilt and discouragement that can quickly lead to burnout or abandoning the goal altogether.
Research published in 2012 in British Journal in General Practice suggests that focusing on small, consistent actions can help create habits that are more likely to stick over time.
The idea that habits are formed in 21 days is a myth based on outdated observations. A 2009 landmark study published in European Journal of Social Psychology explained that it actually takes an average of 66 days of daily repetition for a habit to become automatic. However, this varies by person, behavior and the complexity of the activity for cravings to become a habit.
This highlights the importance of giving yourself the time and patience necessary to create lasting habits. It is more impactful to allow yourself the space to adapt and grow into the change and embrace the process with self-compassion. By doing so, you set yourself up for lasting success that focuses on steady progress rather than rushing to instant results.
2. Growth happens one resolution at a time
It is very common to be overwhelmed by the excitement of the new year and the desire for self-improvement. You may be motivated by the idea of becoming the best version of yourself and end up creating a long list of resolutions.
You can risk getting distracted by focusing on too many goals. This makes it difficult to focus on any single goal. While growth is the goal, the reality is that trying to do it all at once can leave you feeling overwhelmed with competitive advantages. There’s also this pressure to set goals in all areas so you don’t feel like you’re missing out on any potential growth.
The optimism that comes with the new year can make it easy to believe that you can transform every part of your life at once. But without realistic steps, this over-ambitious mindset can leave you feeling burnt out.
Here are two effective ways to create more attainable goals.
- Setting monthly goals. One approach to dealing with this is to shift your mindset from quantity of goals to quality of goals. Try setting monthly goals by focusing on successive goals that match where you are in life and adjust as you go. This gives you some flexibility with your goals. For example, if you’re going through a particularly busy or challenging time, setting a goal related to stress management or self-care can be more realistic and impactful.
- If-then planning. Another effective way to approach your decisions with more focus is by using if-then planning for specific goals. A 2006 study published in Advances in Experimental Social Psychology shows that people are more likely to achieve their goals when they clearly specify when, where, and how they will take action. For example, instead of simply saying, “I want to exercise more,” you can create an “if-then” plan like this: “If it’s 7 a.m., then I’ll take a 15-minute walk around the block.” By specifying the exact time and action, you increase the likelihood of following through, as it removes ambiguity and makes the goal more actionable.
Aim for resolutions rooted in personal growth rather than social pressure
It’s essential to make sure your resolutions align with a genuine desire or need for change rather than simply following a new year’s tradition. You are much more likely to stay motivated when your goals come from a genuine place.
Accountability is an easy way to increase your chances of achieving your goals. You can tell a friend, join a group, use apps, or work with a coach. This helps provide encouragement and reminders that keep you committed to your goals.
No matter how planned or straightforward a goal may seem, challenges are inevitable. Try to proactively identify potential obstacles and plan for them.
How we deal with the challenges that come plays an important role in our ability to stay on track. While it’s good to be optimistic in your approach, setting realistic goals for yourself should be your top priority.
Curious about your mindset towards your solutions? Take this science-backed test to find out: Realistic degree of optimism.
